Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
