South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
