Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
