So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
