it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
