My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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