Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
