the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
