My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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