it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Alive.
So much puke
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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