Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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