Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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