just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's never too late to be topless.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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