is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
