Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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