you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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