haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
