I need help removing her.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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