Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Randomize
