Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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