Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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