Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
