I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
