Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
