bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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