By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have demons in me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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