i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
