I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
