On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
