In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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