you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
