i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
