we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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