so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
