I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Fuck appropriateness.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
my poor anus
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
