i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
