I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
