Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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