I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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