im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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