in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
