I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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