There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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