Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
