Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
