if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
