I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
