allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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