its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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