belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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