my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
