Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
