Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize
