He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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