I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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