so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
